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About 47% of waking hours are spent thinking about what isn’t going on…

“A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” Killingsworth and Gilbert write. “The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.”

Unlike other animals, humans spend a lot of time thinking about what isn’t going on around them: contemplating events that happened in the past, might happen in the future, or may never happen at all. Indeed, mind-wandering appears to be the human brain’s default mode of operation.

To track this behavior, Killingsworth developed an iPhone app that contacted 2,250 volunteers at random intervals to ask how happy they were, what they were currently doing, and whether they were thinking about their current activity or about something else that was pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant.

To continue reading go to – http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/

This week our theme is ‘being grateful‘
There is research showing that spending time on a regular basis to be grateful significantly contributes to living a happy life.

• Grateful people are more likely to have higher levels of happiness, lower levels of stress and depression, and to be more satisfied with their lives and social relationships.

• Grateful people also have higher levels of control of their environments, personal growth, purpose in life, and self-acceptance.

• Grateful people have more positive ways of coping with the difficulties they experience in life, being more likely to seek support from other people, to grow from the experience, and to spend more time planning how to deal with the problem.

• Grateful people sleep better, and this seems to be because they think less negative and more positive thoughts just before going to sleep.

When we are being grateful we are not worrying about the past or wishing for things to change. We are not desiring a new car or holiday. Being grateful allows us to experience peace, comfort & acceptance in where we are in this present moment of our lives. The fluctuations (attachments & aversions) of the mind still for a moment & the gentle essence of our heart emerges like a flower opening to the sun.

A study conducted by Emmons and McCullough (2003) found that sitting down weekly to write about five things we are grateful for increased happiness levels by 25%.

Try doing this with your children ... often it is the simple things in life that come to mind.

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire;
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes;
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

The above poem & some of the content of my post (the dot points in italics) came from the website www.dailydownwarddog.com.

To them I am truly grateful! 🙂

This week our Yoga Tales theme is ‘being aware’.

This is one of my favorite themes as we get to explore life through our senses. The senses are the vehicle for awareness.
When we are being aware we are in the present. Our mind becomes settled on what is in front of us at this very moment. In this state there is no past or future, our judgement lessens & the mind becomes ‘one-pointed‘ which is the foundation of any meditative process. When practicing awareness we get a chance to step back from the analytical processes of thought & counter thought. We then begin to develop the ‘witness mind’ where we can begin to see ourselves & behaviours from the perspective of an observer.

Have you ever witnessed anothers behaviour and wondered if they realised how strongly reactive it was? How many times have you wished you could have reacted differently? Practicing mindfulness helps develop the opportunity to pause & assess the situation before you react. With practice, it gives you the ability to choose!!

For the children, if possible, have a play with sensory awareness. Go into the garden, a park or perhaps even the beach. Use different senses and try closing off others like closing eyes as you explore the scent of a flower. Children are naturally the best teachers as they get so engaged by little things that we often miss.

This week our Yoga Tales theme is about ‘being brave’

The children love this theme, especially boys it seems. It gives them the opportunity to go into their imaginations & safely explore those fears & adventures in a playful, controlled way.

So What is bravery?….

• The fearless warrior?
• The paradigm shifter?
• The human or animal rights activists that have put themselves in danger speaking up for those with no voice?
• The child or teenager who doesn’t follow the pack but is able to stand up & say ‘NO’?
• The individual who simply lives a life of integrity by following his or her heart?

For the children, perhaps ask them ‘what things they are afraid of?’ & then share examples of times when they have been brave. This gives them the awareness of moving through fear into action. Of course there are fears that keep us from being harmed & it is important to applaud your child’s recognition of these.

Developing courage is important because courage is the ability to act in the face of fear and not be frozen by it

This week our theme in ‘Yoga Tales for Early Childhood’ is ……… ‘being kind’.

Be kind is something I have been telling my children ever since they were very little.

It started with ‘be kind with your actions’ ……… then moved to include ‘be kind with your words‘ …….. and now I also ask them to ‘be kind with your thoughts‘.

Rather abstract perhaps but as with anything there is energy behind thoughts and in yoga it is believed that the vibration of the mind is very powerful & what we think about ourselves & others will attract similar energy into our lives. Something I am very aware of but still witness my own thoughts often heading towards the dark side.

Thoughts are so private & so prolific that it is often very hard to catch ourselves out, especially if we have etched certain thought patterns into our subconscious over many years. Yoga has many vehicles to help us remove negative energy out of the mind & amongst these is ‘Bhakti‘; simply translated as love. Bhakti is all about expanding the heart and consciousness, to become one with universal, unconditional loving-kindness. Bhakti begins with the path of ‘kindness’.

You may wish to try this simple Buddhist meditation. Firstly think of those that you love, family, friends, pets. Send them kind thoughts of wellbeing & happiness. Now think of neighbours, work colleagues, & acquaintances, also send them similar thoughts. Next send these thoughts out to people who you don’t know (sometimes it helps if you think of those who may be suffering in some way). Lastly send out these same thoughts to those who you find difficult to be around, others who push your buttons or whom you even dislike. Try to do this without judgement. Simply send these thoughts their way. You may find some resistance around the latter. It will become easier the next time. Make sure you include yourself in this exercise. Send out thoughts of kindness to all aspects of your nature. This will help you develop compassion for yourself & others. Perhaps you may even begin to see that you are not so different from all the other beings who just wish to be happy, be loved & belong.

For the children, perhaps ask them ‘how can we be kind?‘…. ‘who can we be kind to?’ As parents, we are usually the ones trying to impart these lessons. What lessons will our little teachers send our way this time?

This week the theme in our ‘Yoga Tales for Early Childhood’  is ‘being happy’.

So what exactly is happiness? the Wikipedia definition states ‘Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.’

In Buddhism, it’s believed the four divine states of mind to cultivate, in order to alieviate suffering are ‘Loving Kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, & Equanimity”. Sympathetic Joy is when you are happy for others good fortune.

In the yogic texts, the polarities of attachment & aversion & our desire to move towards or away from these states, keep us from finding equanimity that is said to bring peace of mind.
 
Martin Seligman, who founded the Positive Psychology approach puts it like this –
‘Happiness’ is a scientifically unwieldy notion, but there are three different forms of it if you can pursue. For the ‘Pleasant Life,’ you aim to have as much positive emotion as possible and learn the skills to amplify positive emotion. For the ‘Engaged Life,’ you identify your highest strengths and talents and recraft your life to use them as much as you can in work, love, friendship, parenting, and leisure. For the ‘Meaningful Life,’ you use your highest strengths and talents to belong to and serve something you believe is larger than the self.‘

Which one resonates with you and which one do you think brings true, sustained happiness if there is such a thing? Why is it that we so often hear about families & communities living in impoverished countries who seem so happy & content? How do we help our children find this state if we can’t find it ourselves? Maybe you think happiness is overrated? Which ever way you view it, there is certainly lots to explore on this topic for all of us.

Recently, I was privileged enough to be invited to teach at a 3 day retreat for teenage girls in years 11 & 12. I had so much I wished to share with them. Usually,  I have a term to work with teenagers, giving them experiences & tools to take home week to week. How could I give them all this in just two 90 minute workshops???

I googled, researched, talked to my teenaged daughter & wrote enough notes to put out a book (or two)!  The more hours I spent on the computer, sitting hunched with my mind racing, the more I noticed I was experiencing some of what these girls must go through.  So after almost a week of this I realised that if I didn’t help myself, how could I help these stressed out teens??? The yoga practices I was teaching them did come in handy, 10 minute breaks every hour (away from technology), exercise, belly breathing, bhramari, yoga nidra and so on. This helped enormously but each time I came back to the computer & all my notes I felt the stress & feelings of not being able to get it together build again.

On the day before the workshops I was setting up my music playlist whilst taking a walk. As I began to listen to the inspirational, motivational music I felt a shift. Out of the blue I began to cry. I felt the angst of being a teenager again, the stress, the uncertainty, the pressure of deadlines & the vulnerability. I suddenly realised that I had been coming at these workshops in a very analytical way. My head was dominant and my heart was in its shadow. In that moment the music had dropped me straight from my mind into my heart. A place where creativity, acceptance & love could overcome the judemental, critical & analytical state I had been experiencing. Once home, within an hour or two my workshops were finished & what we couldn’t make time for in class was clearly & simply written up in hand outs.

That night I slept soundly, and the workshops were received with bright eyes, playful participation & a recognition of worthwhile skills learnt to support & nurture them through their last months in high school.

A hug & words of  ‘we’ll book you for next year…’ was my parting interaction with the teacher who ran the retreat. So I ask myself…“what will they be teaching  me next year?”………

What is it? –

It is a systematic and scientific method of inducing deep and complete physical, mental and emotional relaxation.

Why is it important for teenagers?

Firstly check out the list of benefits below. Can you already see how a teenager absolutely needs this practice and they don’t have to do anything but lie down! Teenagers are under a lot of pressure. Not only are they tired and overly stimulated but they are vulnerable and often lacking in confidence. Yoga Nidra gives them a way to remove themsleves from the external world for a short while and come back into themselves. A place where they can find solitude, peace and rest. A place where they can relax, restore and re-energise their entire being.

Background –

‘Yoga’ means union or one pointed awareness and ‘Nidra’ means sleep. It was adapted from an ancient practice by Swami Satyananda in the mid 20^th century as a way to access the state of mind between wakefulness and dream. This phase of the mind is where deep learning & memory retention can take place. It is a state where changes can be made to mental thought patterns that are limiting or no longer serve us along with rebalancing emotions & hormones. Above all it is a complete relaxation practice that is greatly restorative on all levels of being.

What do they have to do? –

In this practice the body sleeps, the mind rests but the awareness remains active and aware. There is nothing to do except to lie down comfortably for approx 30mins and audibly follow the guided relaxation.

How could it benefit them? –

• can help manage stress & anxiety
• can help instil positive thought patterns & remove negative ones
• can help with mental focus & concentration
• can help boost the immune system
• can relieve physical, mental & emotional tiredness
• It is said that 30mins of yoga Nidra is equal to 2hrs of deep sleep

My daughter is 13yrs and at the beginning of those long, hard teen years ahead. She has been practicing a basic form of Yoga Nidra for a few years now. If she is tired, stressed or just can’t sleep,  she voluntarily gets her IPOD and soothes herself with the practice. All I can say is where was this practice when I was her age…..

Pre-schoolers are filled with wonder and creativity. They are like sponges, waiting to soak up every experience through sensory discovery and personal interactions and learn through imitation and play.

Yoga allows them to explore life, engaging their imaginations. They get to experience fun, playfulness and collaboration with others in a unique learning environment.
They discover skills that grow with them giving them the confidence to be their own unique selves, learning to listen to their intuition & trust their instincts.

The playful nature of combining the yoga poses & creative movement help develop gross motor skills, balance and co-ordination whilst encouraging children’s imagination & resourcefulness. The children get to stretch, strengthen & calm their bodies helping to re-balance their energy. This helps them feel more settled & focused for the day ahead.

Introducing yoga at this early stage is important to instil healthy life long habits.